‘Dealing with Comparison’
I’m Keeley and I am a 19-year-old woman from Sydney, Australia. I am passionate about human rights and sustainability and am currently studying law with the hopes of mitigating social and environmental issues as part of my career. I am also a creator on Instagram where I share anything related to productivity, wellness and social consciousness.
I want to touch on comparison as this is something I have struggled with for most of my life. I’m actually an identical twin, which has heightened my focus on comparison as it felt like I had to be at the same level as my twin or I’d be disappointing my parents or falling behind. I was also succeeding academically in high school and felt the pressure to maintain this high standard to not disappoint others and lose my good reputation.
I felt I had to rank well against everyone AND beat my twin in exams/assignments. As you can deduce, I was placing my success and happiness in the hands of others’ viewpoints. I felt like I was constantly working to fulfil other people’s expectations of me and not even caring whether I was fulfilling my own measures of success.
I can now say from these experiences that I have learnt a lot about dealing with comparison. Now I recognise that every single person on the planet is different, even identical twins, and everyone has been dealt different cards that make a fair comparison impossible. It is healthier to just compare yourself to past versions of yourself so that you are improving in a healthy way. I take frequent breaks from social media, especially when I feel the comparative thoughts start to kick in from seeing others’ highlight reels. I have also learnt the value of practising gratitude so that you are reflecting on what you have and not feeling sad about what someone else has that you don’t.
To be outspoken means to speak the truth completely and honestly without fear of judgement from others. It is to not hold back and just share your thoughts candidly.
I choose to be outspoken so that I can help others find answers and solutions, especially with difficult situations. I want to radiate honesty so that it will be reciprocated by others. I also want to build my own confidence from sharing tough conversations with others.
If you’re struggling to tell your story, I encourage you to first write it down in a journal so you can get comfortable expressing it in words coherently. Then share it with a small number of people who you know and trust who will validate your story. And then hopefully you will feel more comfortable sharing it with anyone else!