The Differences Between Healthy & Toxic Relationships

BY NORAH NDEMERA

Friendships, romantic relationships and family relationships are all very valuable. The people we choose to surround ourselves with can either help to build us and make us the best person we strive to be. Or, they can hold us back.

There are two clear and contrasting relationship types in our lives. Toxic relationships and healthy relationships. It’s important to remember that not all relationships can be perfect, but having an understanding of the two contrasts below is always beneficial.

Toxic relationship

  1. The worst is brought out of you. The relationship has influenced you to pick up bad habits whether it be a negative attitude or a change in your behaviour.
  2. When you think of that person, you think about all the negative things they have done to you. The unresolved issues and problems that occurred within that relationship are not being let out. Therefore they are building up inside.
  3. You are not challenged by the person. (Not having someone to call out your behaviour) For example, this brings out a habit of ignorance as you will think that you haven’t done anything wrong.
  4. You are constantly trying to figure out your place in this person’s life. Do they value your presence and do they value the relationship?

Healthy relationship

  1. The best is brought out of you. Your relationship allows you to grow spiritually, mentally as well as emotionally.
  2. You feel a sense of balance with this person. When you are around them, you feel at ease. Both of you can trust one another when you are not together.
  3. You have built up self-love and confidence in yourself. Your relationships are also about building each other as well as building yourself too. For instance, having self-love. If you can’t love yourself, how can you accept healthy love from others?
  4. You both decide to listen and talk about issues. Being heard is just as important as being understood by others. You are able to acknowledge each other’s issues. Resulting in the issue not being a consistent barrier in the relationship.

They say: ‘Going back to a toxic relationship is like reading your favourite book and expecting a different ending, elucidating that you are just restarting another painful cycle’.

Never abandon your journey of growth and self-worth whether it be in a family, friend or a romantic relationship.

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